#Motivational & Inspirational Friday! #RRBC


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Today is our Motivational & Inspirational Friday and we want all of you to help us lift someone up!  But, today it’s more than just leaving an inspirational comment.  Today, we want you to share with us how you handle a specific situation, because maybe, we’re not handling it as well as we could or even should be.

TODAY’S TOPIC:  THE ‘OLDER’ GENERATION

(Before we get started, let me make one thing clear, I’m not speaking of members of the older generation who are suffering from mental illnesses or dementia.  They are definitely not apart of this discussion.  I’m speaking of the ornery class of the older generation).

Yes, leave it to me to touch on topics that others shy away from.  Sorry, folks (not sorry, really), but, today we are going to discuss (honestly, I hope) the older generation.  We spend copious amounts of time talking about the younger generation…and most of that conversation always leans in the direction of their failings…their wrongs.  Well, you know what, the older generation isn’t all that grand at times, either.  Now, I’m going to say that I fall somewhere in between both groups, so my opinion won’t be biased at all.

Pug dog face

(That’s the most neutral looking face if I ever did see one!)

In honor of full disclosure, though, I must own up to the fact that I’m closer to 60 than I am 50.  I’ll let your minds wander from there.

I have a general saying that goes:  “I have zero tolerance for poor behavior.  Doesn’t matter if you’re 3 or if you’re 73…I can’t and I won’t deal with it.”  I’ve heard people say so many times, “Well, she’s older…she gets a pass” OR “At 75, they don’t know what they’re saying.”  I don’t believe that’s true.

My dad’s mom was 90 years old when she passed away and NOT ONCE did I ever see her misbehave or hear her speak in such a way that she might have to be forgiven, for not knowing what she was saying.  The same applied to my beloved grandmother who just left me, at the tender age of 89.  Because of this, I give no passes for poor behavior when it comes to age.  If my dear old grannies, at their ages and wisdom level, could behave as women whose ages and wisdom levels dictated that they should behave, then, again, I will give no passes for poor behavior, or, for not knowing what you’re saying because you’re in your 60’s, your 70’s, or your 80’s.

In my opinion, I feel that some of the older generation feel entitled to misbehave and be rude.  I’ve heard some say that “At my age, I just don’t care what comes out of my mouth.” I’ve also heard others say this in regards to those of the older generation.  And to that I say, “I hope you care when you’re speaking around me.”  

My friend’s dad is 75 years old and she often asks him: “Should I charge this to your head or charge it to your age because if I charge it to your age, you’re gonna get a pass,” she says with a smile.  The response she always gets is “charge it to my head.”  I know why she gets this response, too.  Her dad doesn’t want to be perceived as “old” (for falling asleep with the door wide open, or leaving the keys in the car ignition at night, or forgetting to take care of his personal hygiene) so, he would rather she thinks he just made simple mistakes.

Some of you might not agree with me here and that’s fine.  This is my opinion of this situation and I am entitled, just as you are.  This is also why this topic is being brought up because I want to know how others feel about the subject.

I am no walk in the park, and although my husband lives that reality but would never say it, my daughters would give you an earful.  Knowing how I am now, I can only imagine the horror that I will be as I get older, and in true-Nonnie fashion, I have said to both my daughters, “If mommy EVER behaves that poorly, you do not have to put up with it.  Throw me in a home with a nice television for my Lifetime movies, a slew of books, and a nice young aid with good eyes to read them to me, and I’ll be just fine.”  And you know what, I mean every word of that from the bottom of my heart.  Do I think they’ll oblige me?  NO, but I have put it out there that they do not have to put up with my poor behavior (which I know is coming in my older age).

Our club is filled to the brim with those of the older generation and they’re all loved dearly!  I’m not going to go so far as to say that they are all always on their best behavior, but, they are still loved.  So, whether you are 23 or 93, let’s hear your (honest) thoughts on this subject.  I mean, we all share one very important other thing aside from us all bleeding red…we all have our very own opinions about things.

Remember, we want our community to get inspired and feel uplifted by simply reading the comments left by YOU.  This is our year of better, and maybe your take on a situation will help someone else to see it more clearly, and also cause them to think and grow from what you have shared.  The person who leaves the most inspiring and motivational words of wisdom in the comments section below, wins our SURPRISE OF THE WEEK!

Listen, you never know just how impactful your words are, until a life has changed because of them. – NJ

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21 responses

  1. I always felt that age is a magnifier that brings to light our true character. If we have a tendency to be rude or cranky when young, then we’re probably going to be unbearable in our old age. Likewise, if we are kind when young, we’ll most likely be everyone’s favorite grandparent.

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  2. Shirley Harris-Slaughter | Reply

    I have met some rude and awful people who have reached old age and should know better. The first job I had at 21 years, I was humiliated by an older employee. My girlfriend told me to never allow anyone to talk to me like that again. I was very shy and inexperienced and was taught to respect my elders. I have learned over the years to know who to respect and who to avoid. As I grow into old age, I am as pleasant now as I have ever been. My nieces and nephews have reached out to me in positive ways, telling me they love me, or they show me in deeds that they respect me. I try to respect and love everybody and I think they know it. I told myself when I got old, may I never become cranky and mean. Looks like my prayers have been answered. All we can do is try to improve ourselves so that by the time we get there we will be perfect. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Room With Books and commented:
    Very thought provoking blog by Nonnie Jules.

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  4. My grandmother’s were awesome, right until the end. And I’ve always gotten along with my elders. 🙂 I appreciate all the wisdom of our older memner9.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. I have raised my children to be respectful…so much so, they go above and beyond in the respect department. But, I have also shared with them, that just as they are respectful towards others, they should expect (and demand) that others are respectful towards them.

    Some people feel that we should be respected because of age. I don’t buy into that. The old saying: “You have to give it to receive it,” is so true. I’m not going to disrespect someone and then turn around and expect that they’ll respect me…that’s ludicrous.

    So, I will say this one final time (and then bow out)… poor behavior and rudeness, not tolerated in my world, no matter what stage of life you’re in…3 or 93. If others choose to accept such behavior, that is not my concern. But, know this, this is a really big world and doormats are more comfortable to stand on than the bare porch. If you allow someone to turn you into one, then you just lie there and enjoy those feet, but me…I am no one’s doormat.

    You teach people how to treat you. It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, or how young or old they are…respect should always be first and foremost.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. My thoughts on ‘The Older Generation’
    Ah, yes, the ‘older generation’ of which I now am a member. I’m okay with that classification. The fact that I’ve made it this far surprises the hell out of me. But, hey! Here I am and I’m grateful to be here.
    Am I respected by those I care for deeply? I believe so.
    In order for respect to be freely given, it can’t be demanded, for surely there is no need, if you can command it by your own behavior.
    Are you fulfilling the following requirements of the ‘rules of engagement’ to enable freely given respect to come into play? Are you capable of encompassing all of the following character traits? Are you…
    Responsible
    Empathetic
    Solicitous
    Proud
    Enlightened
    Compassionate &
    Tender.
    I have failed one or more of these desirable attributes throughout my life, at times I’ve managed to fail all of them simultaneously.
    I have needed to learn the harsh lessons. The mere fact that I have words to speak; does not mean I have the right to impose those words on a captive audience. Aka … Family and friends.
    Yes, I am a little wiser now, and that is as it should be.
    I have learned that simply being a member of this generation doesn’t guarantee that you are automatically permitted to say and do exactly as you please.
    Age carries with it no automatic exemption, or forgiveness.
    I don’t ever want to hear the words, “Whatever she says is okay, because she’s old and has had a difficult life!”
    I am aware more with age, that my brutal honesty can cause offense.
    I’m also aware that I express myself with no malicious intent.
    That however doesn’t alter the fact that at times my words are capable of inflicting pain.
    I believe that we older ones have hard earned wisdom to share.
    I also believe we don’t have the right to force such wisdom on others, unless we are invited to do so.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Soooz, now each week on our Motivational & Inspirational days you cannot continue to offer such wisdom…making the rest of us look bad! LOL!

      I loved every word. Continue to share, my friend. You are amazing!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I’m laughing here, Nonnie my friend. I have precious moments when the Wise Old Owl makes her presence known, but more often than not, I just sit in the darkest branches of the tree of life and ‘hoot’ like crazy.

        Liked by 3 people

  7. I can honestly say that I don’t know anyone of the older generation who feels entitled to misbehave. My relatives and my friends/associates are all kind people. My community is largely church-related, so maybe I’m sheltered from some of the folks you are concerned about. One thing for sure, I feel deep compassion for elderly who have medical limitations or who are alone, and I always try to reach out to them. One day, if we live long enough, we will know their pain.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for dropping by, sharing with us, Gwen. I will say that you might be a little sheltered if you’ve never encountered a nasty and rude person from the “older” generation. I’ve encountered many…in the food market, in CHURCH, in neighborhoods, in the general public.

      My first encounter was as a young child, our ball landed over the fence (accidentally) into Ms. Lety’s yard. The first time we asked permission to walk over to claim the ball, she opened the door with our ball in hand, and said, “The next time it comes over, you won’t get it back!” All I could think was “WOW! It was an accident.” So, the next time the ball accidentally landed in her yard, my mom went to get it. I can assure you, Ms. Lety didn’t threaten my mom.

      Here we were, innocent, extremely respectful children (because we came from my mom), playing ball in our own back yard, and instead of just throwing the ball back over the fence to us, she held it hostage, waiting for us to claim it, just so she could spew venom. That was my first experience with poor behavior from someone of the older generation and since that time, in my MANY years, I’ve seen this horrible behavior displayed more than I’d like to mention. Whether it is in the form of unkind words, or just plain, hateful acts, in my eyes, it is certainly always unacceptable.

      My aunt, who is now 70, shared a story with me 2 years ago. She said she’d gone into Macy’s Dept. store and was looking at an earring rack, when she spun the rack around to see more items. She said all of a sudden she heard a voice that said “I was looking at those.” My aunt stepped on the other side of the rack to find an elderly lady (older than her) standing on the other side. She apologized profusely to the lady, yet, the lady came back with, “Next time, you ought to pay better attention to what you’re doing.” OK, so I will not get into what my aunt said after that, but, again…another example of unnecessary poor behavior.

      There is nothing that infuriates me more than rude people and displays of poor behavior. Nothing. My husband says nothing takes me from 0 to 100 faster, and that is true. You see, it’s not hard being kind and respectful of people and as an older people, I expect that we set the example for the younger generation. We can’t complain about all their ills, when we ignore our own, because we feel that we are entitled.

      When I’m up in years, whatever I give out, I should not be surprised when I get it back…which is why I’m going to be careful of what I give out.

      In regards to the club, we receive rude email from members from time to time, again, more than we’d like to mention. And, when it is ridiculously rude email, those are forwarded to me to handle, as I am best equipped to do so. In my (always) professional responses, I hope that I am enlightening those members, as well as letting them know, that their poor behavior is unacceptable here.

      So, again, Gwen, if you’ve NEVER seen poor behavior displayed by someone from the older generation, I would say, yes, you’ve been terribly sheltered…and, terribly blessed, as it is not a good sight to see.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I think you are right, Nonnie…terribly sheltered and terribly blessed. Growing up on a farm that was 15 miles from a tiny town sheltered me from the world as I know it now. If my parents ever imagined one of us was being “high and mighty”, there were consequences. Truthfulness and kindness were not options in our household; they were requirements.

        I’ve seen plenty of “rude” over the years, but it hasn’t fallen into one age or another. Old or young, some people imagine it’s their right to spew venom, and like you, I try to show them otherwise – nastiness has no rights.

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        1. Hi, Gwen! Yes, rudeness is not biased…it comes from all age groups, but this particular conversation is staid on the “older” generation, not the younger. That topic is one we need not have, as we always hear about the ills of the younger generation. I felt it important to bring to light what those on the “other” side do…because typically, they’re the ones pointing the finger at the kids.

          Thanks for dropping by!

          Liked by 1 person

  8. You said one line, Nonnie, that stood out to me above all the rest – you have zero tolerance for bad behavior whether you are 3 or 73. That says it all for me. I know that with aging can come with some level of dementia. The steps get slower along with the mind, in some cases.
    As with every human being in life, there is no “one answer fits all” to this issue. But, age does not give us a license to be rude or misbehave. If we care about ourselves and love ourselves, then we don’t want ourselves to be caught acting in a way that begs forgiveness! That’s my two-cents worth at the ripe ol’ age of 65. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “Age does not give us license to be rude or misbehave.” Thanks for that, Jan! You are so right!

      Liked by 2 people

  9. There should never be an excuse for bad behavior! Especially if the bad behavior is coming from an older person. The truth is, anyone, older, who behaves badly most have been that way all their life. You don’t learn to use your left hand in old age, our people say. 🙂 A grumpy old person was a grumpy young person and vice versa.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Joy, never an excuse for bad behavior is perfect. Rude folks and those with poor behavior are shocked when they get it back. I like to say: “Don’t be surprised when I pull a you on you.”

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Getting old is often more a state of mind than actual age. Even though I am an older person, I don’t see myself that way and often refer to those ten years younger than I am , as old. I believe if you were a rude person who spoke before you thought as a young person, and/or had little patience with the flaws of others, this will exacerbate as you grow older. My beloved mother-in-law is 101 and even with mild dementia, is still her loving, kind self–except to one of her relations who is a witch and provokes her.

    As many of you know, I have Chronic Lyme disease throughout my central nervous system, which when activated, can cause me to have short term memory loss, visual problems in spite of 20/20 vision, and while able to hear, not able to understand what I heard. I also transpose words in writing and speaking. I may say bagels when I mean donuts. They are both round and have a hole in them. I may be disqualified for writing this except for the fact that the lyme is not out now so I can be held responsible for errors I would normally make. I can speak better than others with my mother-in-law because I know how her mind is affected and the ways she tries to hide it by saying yes or no to a question she did not hear and having a 50/50 percent chance of being right–or saying, oh yes, I remember that.

    I read some years ago that in teenagers, there is something called a ‘judgement gene’ which gives one the ability to make correct decisions, like ‘I’ve had two drinks so maybe I shouldn’t drive home tonight,” or ‘Having sex just once shouldn’t get me pregnant.” I bought into that one at seventeen, even though I was married–another lack of judgement. The terrifying thing is that this gene does not kick in until approximately 25 years of age. This explains a lot regarding the actions of our young. More recently, I read that this same gene has a short life span and opts out just about the same time as social security begins. And the article further stated that it could cause older people to say outrageous things in public that they would not do at a younger age. Or they might say out loud to a relative, “Could that skirt get any tighter?’ They might mention to their dinner host that the meat was tasty even burned black on the bottom. In other words, social skills used throughout life seem to be the first thing their mind throws out as unimportant to remember. After all, our memory banks are overflowing with lifelong thoughts and images–something has to go and it seems in many cases to be our gift of tactfulness.

    I know, in my case, when my married children complain about something my ‘perfect grandchildren’ did, I am much more quick to remind them of something they did to me at that age—feeing a little smug and self-satisfied saying it, and reminding them of their most hated statement from me–‘what goes around comes around.

    So even as I remain the same kind, loving, patient (not so much) understanding person that I have always been, I do find that things I’d never say out loud, or sometimes even think, start pounding on my brain, saying ‘let me out!’ I am wearing myself out barricading them inside my mind, but now and then one slips past me. I know this by the horrified look on my husband’s face. And the duct tape he just bought that is the right fit for my mouth.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. I’ve had a congenital back problem for as long as I can remember and add to that an Italian temperament and I might possibly be forgiven by family or friends for coming across as abrupt, especially when I’m writing or illustrating. However, I will never overstep the boundaries of common decency just because my friends and family will make excuses for me. How can anyone respect me, no matter what age I happen to be now – older generation – if I don’t respect and/or feel the need to treat others as I would like to be treated in return? Respect is earned, not inherited and there certainly is nothing more beautiful when dealing with older folks who, despite their ailments, still smile and by their dignified actions endear me to them. The opposite is also true. Calling a spade a spade, using bad language or throwing tantrums ( only tolerated when someone is diagnosed with severe dementia or worse), I’m afraid will not endear me to them. I do however feel that many older folks are treated abominably by carers and younger ones who have no self-respect and they will most likely grow old, continuing to be objectionable.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. This isn’t going to be very inspiring but I hope it will be motivational. The day of old people actually living an entitled life is over. The news is full of old people being knocked down, punched out, and/or beaten up. We can’t warn them enough to guard their tongues. Today’s young people are operating on short patience and short fuses. Respect for their elders is becoming a thing of the past. That being said, I do feel that people don’t depart from who they are because they get old. If they were always rude and outspoken, that’s who they’ll remain. I just let them be who they are unless they tell me they’ve said or done some craziness in the streets. I’m writing this before I read anyone else’s response so that my comment won’t be swayed by sentiment. Love my RRBC elderly❤️! Coming to join you soon!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Another take of this. Good points. It is different times we live in and people are definitely acting out of rage. I think all of us are mindful of that in public more than we used to be. I was raised to respect my elders and learn from then when I can.

      And, no we don’t change who we are when we age. It might become more pronounced though. I think depression plays into this issue, from what I’ve seen and dealt with care taking my step dad, grandma and now mother in law. Losing independence, your mind and body not doing what you are used to…but at the same time have a lot to still give–yet being isolated. I ‘m sure I will be a pain to my kids when the times comes, but it will still be how I am now, as well.

      One, thing I know is I have taken the time to learn as much as I can from my elders(esp. family). In that, I give them respect and then decide what to do with the information. It has taught me patience. This is a tough subject and a place we hopefully all get to. The nice thing is, our generations now has social media to communicate and keep active through. I guess this will be my comment, too, since I finished my thoughts here!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I agree. This is a tough subject and I agree that depression and losing their independence plays a role in major personality changes! Well said, D. L.

        Liked by 3 people

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